Tara Christina M
3 min readDec 5, 2019


Fake it Till You Make It! Or Not!

It’s Okay to Walk Through Your Feelings

Photo Credit: ABC News Entertainment

During the 2018 Golden Globe Awards Ceremony, I watched as Oprah Winfrey accepted the Cecil B. DeMille Award. I gazed in awe as she spoke so eloquently, so powerfully. I felt inspired by Oprah’s ways of walking through life and the issues she’s battled. I suddenly remembered the term “Fake it till you make it,” and then I felt angry.

I spent 15+ years in official “Spiritual Studies.” I’ve heard every single saying imaginable, “Fake it till you make it.” “Think positive thoughts only.” “Your thoughts create your reality.” The list goes on. Nice, if you live in a bubble with fluffy unicorns. My honest thoughts about all the “spiritual bypass sentiments” consists of a 1-person example, Oprah Winfrey. What I love about Oprah is she is the ultimate Live Out Loud type of person.

For years I’ve felt frustrated with this “New Thought” movement and “leaders” urging people to “Be careful of your thoughts,” to the point that some cut people off from expressing their feelings and frustrations. Honestly, that’s unhealthy and insensitive!

Look at Oprah! Oprah did not get to where she was by not facing or talking about her frustrations. She did not “hide” and only focus on the positive. She looked at the issues, stared them right in the face, and tackled them, very often publicly so that she could inspire others.

Stifling emotions in order to “fake it till you make it,” or to only “think positively,” can be harmful for your health. Both physically and mentally. No, don’t fake it. Live Out Loud! NO, I don’t mean tell all your business and talk about your problems 24/7. What I’m suggesting is to look at the issue that’s presented itself, call it what it is, pluck it out like a pervasive weed that’s overtaken your yard, (remember the root), look at it and toss it in the compost. Then, replace it with a more desirable thought, feeling, new creation, etc.

We can create our own reality. Look at the ultimate example of success. Oprah went from poverty to being one of the wealthiest people in the world, financially and in the fullness of her life. She didn’t do it by hiding in the shadows. She did it by facing the shadows, talking about them, and standing in the light as she took them head on.

Do yourself a favor if you choose, face those demons head on. Get help if you need but I urge you to not “stifle” them under the guise of “fake it till you make it.” One of the best meditation techniques I learned was to watch my thoughts like a movie. When I have the time I do just that, in a very non-judgmental way. Some thoughts I tell to go away, others I look at with love. Some thoughts make me laugh, others make me cry. The thoughts are what they are, it’s my attachment that gives them power. Remember it’s not necessarily the thoughts that create your reality, it’s the emotions behind those thoughts.

I adapted this article from my original January 8, 2018 blog at 1TaraChristina.



Tara Christina M

Biracial Black Woman, Mother, Author, Tea-Maker & World Travelin' Foodie. You can read more at TaraChristina.com.