Tara Christina M
2 min readDec 26, 2019

I Tried to Feel Sorry For Myself Today

A Moment of Mindlessness Led Me to Productivity

Last month I experienced a pretty traumatic car accident. The insurance covered the cost of the car and my treatment. Since my car was a large part of my income and I live in a fairly remote area, I felt financially strapped and stuck. Our Christmas was pretty slim and though I felt pretty grateful to be alive, have a warm home, a brilliant son and two amazing cats, I felt resentment over my finances.

The day after Christmas, while my son was at his dad’s, I felt completely unmotivated and fearful about the future. I planned a day in bed with Netflix, but then something amazing happened.

I popped myself some popcorn, poured myself a glass of Red Christmas Present, and tried to lay in bed so I could properly feel sorry for myself. Unfortunately, my cats took over my bed. Instead of scooting them out, I got to work.

I planned on relaunching a podcast I put on hold in May. I contacted several potential interviewees while I stared at my cats. I planned out my calendar while eating my popcorn, drinking my glass of Red Christmas Present, and willing my cats off my bed so that I could lay down and feel sorry for myself. I planned a significant part of my 2020, then a miracle happened.

My cats moved so I took over my space in the bed. I felt too productive to be sorrowful so I grabbed the laser toy we bought them for Christmas, and I began to move the red beam from side to side as they tried to catch the laser. My so-called “special needs” cat saw me working the toy so he ignored the beam while my other cat tried relentlessly to catch the red dot that escaped her every move. I caught myself smiling while engaging in this moment of innocent mindlessness. I felt happy.

Sometimes nothing leads to a special something. A moment of mindlessness can possibly take one’s mind off the problem long enough for the solution to creep in the busy brain. Between my cats taking over my bed, my snack, plus a few moments of laser tag with my cats, I actually created a very productive post-Christmas day.

If you’re feeling sad, depressed or frustrated, you probably have a good reason. If I may offer a gift to you, look at the situation and/or feeling, call it what it is and do something mindless. That mindlessness may lead to a burst of life-changing creativity that lights your way to greatness.

Cheers to your best life.

Blessings!

Tara

Tara Christina M

Biracial Black Woman, Mother, Author, Tea-Maker & World Travelin' Foodie. You can read more at TaraChristina.com.