Why “Love Myself” Became My Shelter-In-Place Theme Song

That 2-week Shelter-in-Place order seemed like it was going to be a welcome break from the everyday tasks of life. Then 2 weeks turned to 4, then 6 then… Before I knew it I was scheduling insanity in order to express myself so that I could stay “sane.”

Having both introverted and extroverted qualities, I thought I would make the best of this time. I had my “homeschooling” time with my son, taking care of minute business tasks while looking for work and then overbooking myself with Zoom meetings to stay “connected.”

Then after I could no longer take looking at my screen, I spent more time staring into space watching my thoughts as if they were a scary, but enlightening suspense thriller. Just as I thought I was going to break, I saw that Tracee Ellis Ross released her debut song “Love Myself,” from her new film “The High Note.”

The first time I saw her singing was a random Instagram post which displayed her reaction. I became a bit teary-eyed and couldn’t wait until I heard the full song. Then I looked her up on Instagram, I listened, and then fell out sobbing.

“I don’t even care
I don’t wanna keep my head down
Got nothing to share
Maybe I should put my phone down
I don’t really care if everybody likes me
I just wanna love myself
Love myself
Love myself”

Over the next couple days I reflected on life and the friendships/relationships that I had and then let go. I reflected on life, my past decisions and how I could progress forward. I realized that as frustrating and scary at times this pandemic had become, that I could choose what choices I made during this time. I decided to take care of myself, my home and my son the best that I could within this shelter-in-place. During my silent moments, I reflected on how I could love myself so deeply, my personal circumstances could change.

Today I took the time to watch the official video and I listened with my full self.

“I don’t even care
I don’t wanna keep my head down
Got nothing to share
Maybe I should put my phone down
I don’t really care if everybody likes me
I just wanna love myself
Love myself
Love myself” *

I’ve had several moments of crying as I listened to this song and how it resonated deeply within me and where I am right now in life.

I’ve taken this shelter-in-place time to look at myself, my patterns and the type of people who I have attracted in life. While the revelations have been the same, these forced social distancing guidelines are giving me the strength to adopt my own personal guidelines of who I am and how I’m willing to be treated.

The shifts actually started a year ago. This time has strengthened my resolve of what I’m willing to accept. As I listened to Tracee Ellis Ross sing to me all day today, I cried and realized that though I do care about people, loving myself is my biggest priority right now. It is from this place that I can share fully who I am and what I’m willing to allow in my life. I pray that you can do the same if you choose.

Thank you Tracee Ellis Ross for shining your light so that others could be inspired to shine theirs.

Blessings!

*Tracee Ellis Ross ”Love Myself” Lyrics

Biracial Black Woman and Proud Cape Verdean. I love good food, great wine, tea and being a Mom. You can read more at 1TaraChristina.com.